Chemical Craze
by Raindrop Reflections
Summary: It was just a normal day in the Order. WAS. Now we have a chemical cloud, courtesy of one Komui Lee (however indirectly) and four unconscious exorcists. What's going to happen to them? No pairings (yet), and I guess it's a semi-crack fic. T because of swearing...when they wake up.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: In the beginning

Raen: Hey guys! I'm back, this time with my first DGM fic! Yay! (Btw, this is also why I kinda sorta stopped updating my other thing. That and the plot bunnies have overrun my brain.)

Kanda: Tch. Just get on with it already.

Allen: *pops up* Don't be mean to her, Bakanda!

Kanda: What did you just call me, moyashi?

Allen: My name is Allen! A-L-L-E-N! …

Raen: *sweatdrops* Let's just…ignore them. Lenalee, Lavi, would you do the disclaimer?

Lenalee and Lavi: Sure! D. Gray-man and its characters don't belong to Raen-chan! If they did…Frankly, we don't want to think about it. Please read and review!

* * *

It was just a normal day at the Order. Or as normal a day as the Order gets, anyways. Kanda was just coming back from a mission. He stopped by his room quickly before going to seek out Komui. He figured that if he handed in his report how he wouldn't be bothered about it later. Maybe he'd get some peace and quiet. But before he even made it to the office, he could smell the scent of burning chemicals. "What the hell?" At this point, it was not so surprising that the hallway was filling with smoke. He contemplated just turning around and leaving someone else to deal with this…but he had already come so far. He kept walking, instantly regretting it. He was beginning to get light-headed and there were black spots in his vision. He paused to check his bearings. There was no way he would put up with this bullshit. Komui was going to die as soon as…well, shit. His knees gave out, followed by his sight. He fell to the ground, unconscious.

Little did he know that a similar fate had befallen his comrades. Lenalee was busy helping the science division because her brother refused to do his work when she first felt the effects of the weird smoke. She was just at the end of the hallway, and fell to her knees, dizzy. She passed out soon after.

Allen was wandering through the halls of the Order yet again, having been bored out of his mind at the lack of action, though that was probably a good thing. Despite the fact that these trips usually ended up with him hopelessly lost, he enjoyed the time he took to explore the place. It was really quite interesting. So Allen wasn't worried that he had no idea where he was or where he was going, he would find his way back eventually. Lost in thought, he turned the corner, finding himself in a foul-smelling cloud. Chemicals? He tried to backtrack, but was already beginning to get vertigo. Soon he found himself unable to remain upright, first leaning on the wall and then sliding down it. He was just barely able to form one last coherent thought before blacking out. This can't be good…

Lavi, as usual, was in the library. Bookman had assigned him various readings that he hadn't really started on and he had a report to complete. All of that in, well, in about a day. Lavi was completely and utterly screwed, and he knew it. He was just glad that Bookman wasn't around just then. As he was dozing off, a faint scent of something like smoke spread throughout the library. He wrinkled his nose, deciding that he'd need to go find the source. Following the scent, he was led towards the science department. Figures. The hall was filled with a thick vapor, making it hard to see. But maybe that wasn't just because of the smoke - Lavi's own eyesight was beginning to fade. He collapsed on the floor.

And now the smoke was beginning to fade. Someone in the science department had been smart enough to go get a fan, which was clearing the area even faster. They were surprised to see the four exorcists collapsed on the ground and gulped. They had a feeling that this wouldn't turn out well. The smoke had been some product of Komui's, and Komui's stuff never worked properly. It was like a rule.

Speak of the devil and he shall appeareth. Komui poked his head out of his office, having heard the noise the science division was making. "What's going on here?" He took a moment to look around before they answered. Was that…Kanda, Lavi, Allen, wait! HIS DEAR SISTER! Passed out on the floor! He rushed over to her, calling out her name. "LENALEE! MY SWEET, PERFECT BABY SISTER! WAKE UP! WHAT HAPPENED?!" Everyone that was awake sweatdropped despite being used to the exuberance the Asian man always acted with.

"Uh…Komui?" Johnny spoke up nervously, trying to get his attention. Unfortunately for him, he was ignored.

"KOMUI! Stop freaking out over your sister and help us carry them, all of them, into your office. And figure out what this bottle held!" Reever was, quite frankly, pissed. Why did his superior have to be so…so…ugh? He carefully picked up the bottle that had held the chemical cloud and shoved it at Komui, who had cowered behind a random science division member.

"This…bottle?" Komui took it and sniffed it delicately. "Memories, no. Fears, I don't think so? Persons, personalities…personalities! This is supposed to make people nicer! It was for Kanda, but it failed. I'm not sure what's going to happen."

"Oh. Well in that case, you're going to start making a cure. NOW."

"Fine. But if you hurt a single hair on Lenalee's head…" Komui trailed off, narrowing his eyes in warning before he trudged off to his secret lab. The others got split into groups to clean up the area and move the exorcists.

* * *

Raen: Okay, that's it for now! I'll try to update as quickly as possible. This is truly my first attempt at a multi-chaptered fic...we'll see how it works out. Ciao!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Who?

Raen: Hi again! How're y'all doing? Okay? Great. In this chapter, I'm introducing an OC, Alice. Who, by the way, is not related to Allen. Just thought I'd make that clear :). And I'm not pairing her with anybody, mainly because I don't like having characters in romantic relationships with OCs. And-*gets interrupted*

Allen: Hi! *jumps around*

Raen: Allen? Did you eat too much candy?

Allen: *perks up* Food?

Raen: Never mind. Anyways, D. Gray-man is, sadly, still not mine :(. It's Hoshino-sensei's.

* * *

Kanda groaned, fighting the impulse to stay asleep, albeit ineffectively. What the hell was that? Lenalee was quiet, still unconscious. Allen, unlike the two of them, was currently quite content. He had started dreaming about eating, more specifically about eating mitarashi dango. Yum. The fourth and final person in the room mumbled something like "Strike" in his sleep.

Alice knocked on the door. Not hearing a response, she walked in. She'd been sent to inform the four exorcists about what had happened to them, a task she was _not_ looking forward to. But she'd taken pity on the science division, reasoning that she, being an exorcist and fighter herself, would be less likely to be injured. "Hello? Rise and shine, everybody! It's time to wake up!" The four of them were shifting around now, good. Let's see…Kanda looked like he'd wake up first. She couldn't decide if that was a good thing or bad thing.

Kanda woke up feeling as if he'd been hit by a bus. His head was pounding. He forced his eyes open finding himself on the couch in Komui's office. Looking around, he say Lavi and Allen sprawled out beside him and Lenalee lying on the floor. There was another person, someone he didn't recognize, standing by the door. She was the only other person that was conscious. He blinked, trying to clear his head.

It was a while before anyone else woke up. By this time, Kanda's headache had receded, though not by much, and he was enjoying the silence. Too bad it couldn't last. Lavi was the next to regain consciousness. He sat up, rubbing his uncovered eye to fully regain his sight. At the same time he did a mental check of himself to assess the damage. Other than the throbbing pain in his head, everything felt normal. Once he was fully aware of his surroundings, his eyes landed on Kanda and Allen beside him, before he also noticed Lenalee on the ground. Why was Lenalee on the ground?

Lenalee opened an eye wearily before sitting upright in shock and instantly regretting it when her head felt like it would explode. Or implode. Or whatever. It was painful. She had been lying on the floor? Why? What had happened? The last thing she remembered was…helping the science division and then being affected by some weird smoke. She made a mental note to speak to her brother about this. She glanced about her to find Kanda, Lavi, Allen, and Alice in the room with her. None of them were speaking. Weird.

Allen woke with a start, looking confused before registering his headache. Oh god, his head. He groaned and opened his eyes, finding the four other occupants of the room looking at him. He was in…Komui's office? Why did these sorts of things always, always, happen to him?

"What the?"

Surprisingly, Kanda was the first one to speak. Everyone else except for Alice flinched at the sound.

"Shut the fuck up, you're being too loud." That was Lavi. Huh, how ironic.

"Does anyone know what happened?" At that, Alice decided that it was her turn to speak.

"Well, the four of you were affected by this chemical cloud which was developed by Komui to make Kanda nicer. Kanda never got it because, well, it failed. He's being forced to work on a cure."

Hearing his name multiple times made Kanda pay more attention to the speaker. Alice, a girl with waist-length silver hair and blue eyes. His eyes widened slightly as he grinned. Yes, grinned. "Strike!"

"So you all ne-" She stopped, confused. What did Kanda just say? There was no way she'd heard that right. Kanda's attitude was notorious, and even though she'd barely made contact with him she knew this wasn't how he normally acted. "What…was that?"

Lenalee spoke up. "Where is my dear brother?! Has anyone seen him?"

Allen groaned again, now irritated. "Where the hell did this frickin' headache come from? Goddamnit, I need some wine. Someone get me some wine."

Alice's eyes flickered between the three of them. While she didn't really know Kanda, she was friends with Lenalee and Allen. There was no way they'd act like this. "What's going on?"

Lavi crossed his arms and legs, refusing to pay attention to the 'idiots'. He wanted some peace and quiet, which obviously wasn't happening right now. "Shut the hell up, dumbasses."

Kanda didn't listen to him, still paying attention to Alice. "You really are pretty. What's your name? Let's be friends."

No way. This was not happening. This had to be a dream. But…the weird smoke. Okay, so maybe there was an explanation. No use freaking out about it now, right? Right. Or at least that's what Alice was trying to convince herself. "I'm Alice, a new exorcist. Lenalee and Allen found me, I didn't realize that my swords were innocence before. Or that they turned into guns…" She trailed off, lost in thought.

Allen perked up. "A pretty lady? Why hello." He moved closer to Alice, smiling.

Lenalee was not appreciating being ignored. "Where is my brother?! Nii-san! Come out!"

Alice's head snapped up as she slowly backed away from Allen. "W-What are you doing? A-Allen?"

Still not receiving a response, Lenalee left the room, worried that her brother would be seduced by perverts. She would need to make a robot to protect his chastity.

Allen reached out and took a piece of Alice's hair, speaking nonchalantly. "Whatever do you mean?"

"I-I-You…Allen, stop! What are you trying to pull?"

"What is it, my dear? Please do stop stuttering." He moved even closer.

Meanwhile, Kanda and Lavi were having a conversation of their own. Kanda had turned towards Lavi, glomping him and waving a finger in his face. "What's with the harsh tone usagi-chan? There's no need to be so glum!"

Lavi did not look amused. "Tch. Shut the hell up! Stupid samurai." He tried to pry Kanda off him. "Someone tell me where Komui is before I kill this idiot."

Okay, so maybe it wasn't much of a conversation.

Alice leaned away from Allen, ending up against the wall. "Allen, what is this? W-What are you…what…I…No…" At least she'd gotten through one sentence without stuttering. It had to count for something, right?

"Sweetie, you're going to have to be more specific."

"Stop! Please, move away. Just…stop."

"Oh? Darling, I'm fairly certain I heard you wrong. Did you tell me to stop? Now why would you do that?"

"Y-Yes! That's what I said. You're acting w-weird, Allen."

"Am I?" He was slightly put off by her refusal to comply but otherwise undeterred.

Alice's response was cut off by Lavi leaving his seat and walking between the two to get away from the noise. "Che. Out of my way, sprout."

Kanda wasn't very pleased by that. "Whoa, where are you going? Come back and sit, Lavi! You need to stop being so antisocial."

"No." Lavi pulled open the door and left, slamming it shut after.

Deciding that there was no way he would get through to Lavi, Kanda got up and threw an arm around Allen. "Come on, moyashi. Give her a break."

Allen swatted away the arm, annoyed. "Don't touch me, only beautiful people can touch me."

Kanda pouted. "Not fun, you're just as bad as Lavi."

"Like hell I am. Now go away, you're ruining the mood. Better yet, go get me some alcohol."

Alice looked a bit frightened at the thought of being left alone with the normally docile Allen. Emphasis on normally, he was anything but at the moment. Luckily for her, Kanda noticed her look.

"Well, how about you, Alice? Let's do something! I'm bored, and everyone else is grumpy. Please?"

"Your presence is not needed, idiot. Scram."

"Alice? What do you say?"

"Well…okay, sure. Let's go let something to eat." It was safer than staying with Allen, that was for sure. "Sorry Allen, maybe some other time."

Allen scowled. "Well then until next time, darling."

Alice dragged Kanda out of the room.

* * *

Raen: That's it for now! (Sorry if it's an awkward place to stop)...now...how to get Allen to stay out of trouble... . On another note, a giant THANK YOU to everyone who followed, favorited, and reviewed (you know who you are). Ciao~!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: A day in the life

Raen: Yay! The third chappie's here!

Lavi: Shut up.

Raen: Well, someone's grumpy today.

Lavi: And whose fault is that? *grumbles under his breath*

Raen: Okay, okay. I get it. Let's see…who's still sane around here? … Komui… Now there's a scary thought… *goes pale* He actually counts as one of the SANE ones…kind of.

Alice: Well, I don't think Raen's going to move anytime soon… Or do anything really… So the disclaimer's up to me! Here we go: D. Gray-man and its characters don't belong to Raen – she only owns the plot…and me…uh oh…

* * *

Allen was pissed. The pretty girl…Alice? Had been dragged away (or at least that's how he viewed it) and the other one was making some weird shit. Damn. Why was he even here? That was just it, he didn't NEED to be here…No one would notice if he went into town, right? Right. So he went back to his room, somehow not getting lost, changed into something more presentable, and snuck out. He had found a secret passageway the other day and if he could just find it again…Oh, there it was. What luck. Carefully, Allen slipped into the dark and quiet hall, walking with one hand along the wall to sense where he was going. After a few minutes it became lighter, and he could rely on his sight once more. Coming out into the open, he looked around. Now, where was he? Looking around, he found himself at the top of a hill, a hill with a pathway leading to the town. That certainly made things easier.

Back at the Order, there was chaos. Lenalee had finished her robot, which for some reason was named Linlin I, and it was now destroying things left and right looking for Komui. Somehow, the ability to make dysfunctional machines had also transferred onto Lenalee. She herself was going frantic with worry, having been unable to find her brother on her own.

Lavi had been meditating when one of Linlin I's limbs busted through the wooden door into his room. He swore like a sailor. Why the hell couldn't he get some peace and quiet around here?! The robot bent down to look through the door before seemingly dismissing him and moving on. That was…creepy. Another one of Komui's stupid inventions? But it'd looked different – it was missing the signature beret, the so-called 'charm point' of Komui's robots. So what was it then? Tch, that didn't really matter, he could ask someone else later. The thing needed to go. Now. It'd broken his door. He grabbed his trusty hammer and hurried off after it, swinging the weapon as soon as he was within range. Unfortunately, he was unconsciously wielding the hammer as a sword, greatly reducing the effectiveness of the attack. What? He paused. Something was…off. Why did he feel the need to go find the nearest sword-like object and hack the thing to pieces?

Once she'd succeeded in dragging Kanda away, Alice had left him in the library (after thanking him profusely for saving her from further molestation) before going to the cafeteria to get some food. Kanda hadn't minded, after all he had work to do! He needed to research…wait, what did he need to research? Why did he feel the inexplicable urge to touch up on his history knowledge? He pushed that aside, it wasn't important.

When Lavi looked back up, Linlin I was no longer in sight. Shit. He followed the trail of destruction to the cafeteria, seeing that the girl the sprout had been bothering earlier was sitting near the back. "Oi! Did you seen a robot come through here?"

Alice was snapped out of her reverie (she'd been thinking about the strange situation she found herself in) by the voice. It was Lavi. Huh. She hadn't expected that, not with the way he was currently acting. "Could you repeat that?"

Lavi frowned. "Have you seen the fucking robot?"

"Robot? No, I don't think so…Is Komui up to something again?"

"No idea, but it better not be him. The dumbass's caused enough trouble already."

"That's true, he does seem to have a tendency to create problems for the rest of us."

"Che." And then all hell broke loose.

Linlin I crashed through the wall, setting off specially designed alarms (the science division decided that Komui's creations were too risky for there not to be some way to notify everyone about them). Kanda, the only available exorcist (not counting Lenalee) who wasn't already on the scene, rushed into the room with some science division members following soon after.

"What's going on?!"A random person called out to the two exorcists who'd been present as the alarm was triggered.

"See for yourself, idiots!" That was Lavi. Everyone (except Kanda and Alice) stared in shock. What had happened to the happy-go-lucky guy to make him act like this? Alice decided that at this rate, nothing would get accomplished and spoke up.

"ROBOT!" They all groaned.

"Again?! How many does that make now?"

"Too many. Way too many."

LinLin I started flipping over tables and tossing aside random foods.

"What the fuck is it doing?"

"I have…no idea." This had never happened before…

"I don't give a damn as long as it can be destroyed." Lavi lifted his hammer once again, swinging at the robot in a sort of slicing motion. The robot barely faltered. His eyes widened, it'd happened again. No, no. This wasn't right. Why was he acting this way? The robot swung one of its arms towards him, too close for him to dodge by the time he noticed it. Luckily, Alice was more alert and sliced off said arm before it could harm him.

"Stop spacing out, Lavi. We'll need all the help we can get."

"Tch." He didn't need to be told that. But then again, he did find himself repeatedly hesitating at inopportune times. What was wrong with him? NO. he couldn't think of that now, now was most definitely not the time. He'd figure it out later. And so he pushed his sense of uneasiness to the back of his mind. LinLin I struck out. He dodged. Kanda ran in and whacked it with the flat side of his katana before being thrown back. That was weird too…why the flat side of the blade? Lavi added this observation to the new box sitting in the corner of his mind called 'deal with it later when there're no rampaging robots around'.

Alice decided that now would be a good time to just end the madness and fully activated her innocence, shooting at the robot. It fell to the ground in pieces (as did half of another wall, but that wasn't the point), which was all good and well, until those pieces started moving back towards one another, as if the thing was trying to reform. Weird…and kind of disgusting…she shuddered. The science division guys, who had previously been watching the 'fight' now used some gadget of theirs to clean up the mess and to make sure that the robot was properly destroyed. Thank god that was over. No one noticed the absence of Allen or Lenalee.

* * *

Raen: Hmm...I'm not sure about this chapter, was it confusing? What did you guys think? Got any predictions for what's going to happen next?

And again, thank you to all those that took the time to review :) Ciao~!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Poker faces and mad scientists

Raen: Hi again guys, I'm back!

Allen: [grumblegrumble]

Raen: Allen? What's wrong?

Allen: I don't like this chapter. I _really_ don't like this chapter.

Raen: O-oh…I'm sorry? But think of it this way! This thing finally has a plot!

Allen: . . . *stares at her*

Raen: Stop that, you're creeping me out…Eep!

Lenalee: Brother, where are you? Come out~!

Lavi: [grumblegrumble] Idiots.

Kanda: Well, looks like everyone else is busy, so the disclaimer's up to me this time! Here we go:

Disclaimer: D. Gray-man doesn't belong to Raen-chan~!

* * *

As he was walking down the hill, Allen heard a couple of loud noises. He figured that the science division was up to something again. Thank god he'd left when he did, the others could deal with whatever mess had been cooked up this time. Instead, he focused on what was in front of him. He had reached the town, and now he was looking for a bar of some sort. Any sort, really.

After wandering around for a couple of minutes he came across a rather run-down place in what seemed to be the shady side of town. It would have to do. Walking inside, he found that the place was bigger than it had appeared on the outside. There was a bar on one side of the room and a bunch of people…gambling? Playing poker? On the other side. For some reason, he felt an urge to join them, just for a game or two. Weird. But feasible. And really, who was he to deny his urges, random though they might be? And so he went up to the bar and drank a few glasses of wine before walking over to one of the tables. "Oi, bastards. Can I join?"

One of the poor-looking people sitting at the table raised his head and stared at him in shock. He looked…oddly familiar. "What are you staring at?"

"Nothing, you just remind me of someone I know. You want to play?"

"Of course, why else would I be here? Idiot."

"Hey, no need to be so caustic. But yeah, we'll deal you in the next hand okay."

"Fine. Hurry up."

Back at the Order, Lenalee found herself in front of a locked door. One with a bright (neon) 'keep out' sign on it. There was an odd clanking noise coming from the other side. She felt an almost overwhelming urge to just burst into the room, knowing that it was probably where her brother was hiding, but…it felt wrong. Instead, she knocked. Hard. _Bang. Bang. Bang._

Komui had gotten distracted. So sue him, there were more interesting things to do in his lab than trying to make a cure. Even if…even if his baby sister /had/ been affected. The temptation to work on his newest Komurin was too great. He was in the process of putting together an arm for the robot when a loud thumping sound (coming from the door) could be heard. What? He was sure that no one knew the way here. Here, his private laboratory. Now he had two options: ignore it and go back to what he'd been doing…or open the door and risk getting yelled at. Okay, that was a no-brainer. He went back to work.

Lenalee was getting frustrated. Surely whoever was inside (Komui, it had to be Komui) had heard her? But still, no one was coming. She shrugged. Well, she'd tried the polite approach. Now it was time to resort to other methods. With that in mind, she pulled out a giant hammer and swung it at the door. It opened (read: broke) with a loud bang. She walked in.

The 'ignore whoever's at the door' approach, wasn't such a good idea, Komui decided. It had, essentially, resulted in his door being broken down. And…wait, was that Lenalee? With a hammer? Crap…did she always look so scary? Almost…psychotic? His thoughts were interrupted by Lenalee randomly tossing the hammer aside and glomping him. He blinked, confused.

"Lena-lee? What are you doing?"

"Nii-san! I finally found you! Are you okay? What were you doing? Did anyone hurt you or try to $%#E% or #$%$%# you?"

"Lenalee? Are you okay? But anyways, I'm perfectly fine! I was just working for a cure for you in my lab here, and no one tried to do anything to me." He was confused by her actions…but very pleased. It seemed that his patience had finally paid off. Lenalee understood why he was always protecting her, and she was doing the same for him!

"A cure? For what? Are you sick? Please don't tell me you're sick. Niiiiiiiiii-san you're not sick are you?" Lenalee was looking very worried at the prospect.

"Aww, is my dear sister worried about me? Fear not, no one is sick! It's just to reverse one of my failed potions! That's it, really!"

"Yayy! Okay that's fine then, I'm glad you're okay. Do you need any help?"

"Help? You want to help me? Of course you can!"

"YES! I want to help, I really do." She took a look around the room, pausing at the sight of the half-finished robot. "Brother…what's that?"

He followed her gaze, looking nervous when he saw what she was looking at. "O-oh, nothing Lenalee, don't worry about it."

"Of course it's not nothing. Nii-san, why didn't you tell me you had this lying around? It's amazing! Just look at those joints…the robot's so well made!"

O-kay…? He'd been expecting a different, more violent response. But this! This was an opportunity! "Thanks, I made it myself. It's going to be Komurin I1, a whole new kind of robot. If it works. And it will work because I made it and I'm amazing at this!"

"Wow, really? Okay, I've decided. Let me help with that instead. Please!"

"Sure! Come on, let's go work on it." And they walked towards the back of the room, out of sight.

In the meantime, Allen had been, somewhat surprisingly, enjoying himself playing poker. And he was winning by a landslide. In fact, everyone except for that guy he'd been talking to had already withdrawn from the game (or been forced to quit). "One more hand?"

The mystery guy shook his head. "No, thank you. I think I'm fine. Would you like another drink instead? I'll pay."

"Very well." He was slightly disappointed that the game was over but who was he to complain? He was getting a free drink.

"Good." The guy called out to the bartender. "Two of whatever my friend here was having please."

Distracted and already tipsy, Allen didn't notice when his companion slipped a bit of powder into his drink. He took a big gulp of it…and started feeling sleepy. Shit. The last words he heard before passing out were "Sleep tight, shounen."

* * *

Raen: Sorry for the slight delay, I got distracted . BUT, like I said, I now have an actual plot thought out for this fic...which should be interesting...Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this :)

Oh and, I was talking to someone about this, but how many of you want me to put in a pairing?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Yet once again

Raen: Finally back! With more-…*trails off*

Alice: Sorry, but Raen is kinda sorta exhausted with everything that's been going on in her life. Anyways, disclaimer time.

D. Gray-man does not belong to Raen and it never will TTATT What a depressing thought.

* * *

Allen woke with a cry, trying to sit up…and failing. Why was he chained to a bed? He took deep breaths, trying to clear his mind and sort through his memories. He'd been at a bar. Okay. He'd played poker. So far so good. Then…that guy had treated him to a drink. Wait, what? Idiot, he berated himself. Why am I such an idiot? Trusting such a suspicious guy, he'd practically been asking for this. Well, there wasn't much he could do about it now. He'd just have to wait. And wait he did, though thankfully not for very long.

The door creaked open, a dark-haired head poking through for a moment before the other fully entered the room. Tyki, he should've known. The other spoke.

"Finally, you're awake. How do you feel, Shounen?"

"Like you care, idiot. Where am I?"

". . ." Tyki frowned, lost in thought. So he'd been right, Allen was acting weird. It wasn't like the (mostly) innocent and naïve (in his opinion) boy to be at a bar and to actually _drink_. He wasn't even of age. And he'd also played poker. Gambled! Okay, maybe that part was normal. He might've just been overthinking things. Still…that behavior. It was almost like…Cross. He shuddered.

"You gonna answer the question?"

"Interesting." And it was. "You're coming with me to see the Earl."

"Tch. I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Nope!" Humming happily, Tyki phased Allen through the chains before tying his arms up and applying some weird charm. He slung the exorcist over his shoulder as if he weighed nothing and strode out the room.

"Put me down." Allen didn't appreciate being carried like a sack of potatoes. It was uncomfortable and he couldn't see a thing. Though that was probably the point. Bastard.

"Sorry, but I can't do that. Don't worry we're almost there."

"Whatever." The two spent the rest of the (admittedly very short) trip in silence.

Coming to a stop in front of an imposing wooden door, Tyki knocked three times. An irritatingly familiar voice called out a "Come in." And they did. Though not through the door, at least not in the normal sense. They literally went _through_ the door. It was a disturbing experience for Allen, but he chose not to comment on it.

"Allen~ Allen~! Let's play!" A childish voice could be heard, one that Allen recognized as belonging to Road. That couldn't be good.

"Not now, Road. I have some business to discuss with him." The Earl, it had to be.

"But Millennie~ I'm boooored. These meetings are no fun." So he was right. It was the Earl. How bothersome.

"Later, I promise. I just have a couple questions for Allen dear. Okay?" Allen _dear_? That was most certainly not okay. But still, he remained silent.

"Fine."

"Good. Tyki, you can put our guest down." Oh right, he was still being carried. Well he _was_. Until Tyki set him down on a chair facing the Earl. At a table, surrounded by the rest of the Noah family. Shit. This couldn't turn out well, at least for him.

"Now Allen, it's nice to see you again. Will you answer a few questions for me?"

"So we meet again, fatass." The Earl raised an eyebrow. He'd remembered the other as being more…polite. Yes, that was it. A lot more polite.

"Could you please repeat that? I think I must've heard you wrong?"

"Don't think so. I called you a fatass, fatass." How…fascinating. The boy was acting more like his so-called master than himself. The Earl kept a happy-go-lucky expression plastered on his face though he was beginning to get irritated.

"I am most certainly not. But no matter. What's more interesting is the way you're acting. Has anything happened to you recently?"

"You mean other than being kidnapped after a perfectly nice game of poker and having to see your ugly face? No, can't think of anything."

"Please, I know you have more tact than that. Why do you insist on insulting me?"

". . ." There wasn't really a reason for it, Allen supposed. It was just natural. He insulted everyone…didn't he? Something was off.

"Oh? No response?" The Earl tilted his head to one side, looked at Allen curiously.

"Whatever. It hardly matters."

"But of course it does~"

"Your face is annoying me."

"And you, my dear boy, are annoying me. Answer me."

"Hell no."

"Intriguing, it's hardly a difficult question. Yet you refuse to answer, and so stubbornly too."

"Is there a point to this?"

"I suppose not. You're not being very helpful and I'd like to keep you around for a while yet. Hmm…" What to do, what to do. The Earl was indecisive. On one hand, this was an odd development, and he'd like to know the cause. On the other, that boy was very, very, frustrating. "Fine, I'm done for now. Road, you can 'play' with him. Just make sure he doesn't get hurt too badly, okay?" Road cheered.

"Yes! I'll take good care of Allen. Come on Allen, let's go play~!" The only response she got was a groan. Play, yeah right. He wondered what the overly sadistic girl's version of 'fun' would include as he was dragged off to her room.

Her room. Oh hell. It was…pink. Extremely pink. But somehow also very dark…with a hint of gothic. The combination was disturbing at best. It was like a thief or murderer even tore up a little girl's room. But neater, just barely.

"Allen~! What do you want to do?" Road paused as if waiting for a response but forged on before he could give one. "Oh! Oh! I know. Let's throw these candles at that picture!" The Noah had summoned a handful of her signature candles and was pointing at a picture of Lenalee pinned to a dartboard.

"Huh? Why the hell would I do that? That sister complex would kill me…not to mention that she's quite a beauty."

"Allen? What did you just say? Repeat that last part for me, okay?"

"She's rather attractive." Road pouted.

"No! That's not right! Why that bitch, Allen? Why can't you like me instead? It's so unfair." Enraged, the petite (which didn't mean a damn thing) and delicate-looking (ha. Delicate, right.) girl stabbed one of the (extremely sharp) candles she was holding into Allen's arm. He swore.

"What. The. Fuck. That hurts, psycho bitch." Stab. A second candle.

"No swearing, Allen. That's impolite."

"You can't tell me what to do."

"Wha-? Of course I can, you're my prisoner!" She sounded a bit more enthusiastic at the prospect than she probably should've been. "But…You're no fun right now. What's wrong, Allen? You're not normally like this."

"Nothing." Why was everyone asking about his behavior? It was normal, right? Right? Tch. What a nuisance. He pushed away the bothersome thoughts.

"Answer me properly~ Unless you want another candle?" She giggled. "You're starting to look like a cake~!"

"Goddamnit, you guys need to stop. Asking. That. It's really nothing. I'm acting perfectly normal." Then, after a pause, "wait, cake?"

"Cake. A birthday cake."

"Oo-kay?" The other just nodded at him eagerly, looking way too cheerful for the situation. "Can we 'play' something else?"

"Hmm…okay, since Allen asked so nicely. Let's have a tea party~!"

". . ."

* * *

Raen: Really sorry I disappeared everyone, but everything's been so chaotic recently . Anyways. From the responses I've gotten, people wouldn't be against a pairing and the most popular one right now it Poker Pair...*still trying to figure this out* Gahh, can't think TTATT *dies*


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: The Order Side

Raen: Alright, I don't have much to say this time so let's get straight to it…

Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man doesn't belong to Raen.

* * *

"Hey guys, it's all good that the robot is done with…but where's Komui?" Alice looked around, expecting the scientist to come running while crying and calling them names.

"That's actually a good question…"

"He's _supposed_ to be working on a cure for…" Reever paused for a moment, studying Kanda and Lavi before continuing. "Some failed experiment of his."

"That bastard needs to take responsibility and stop. Fucking. Destroying. This. Building." Lavi looked extremely annoyed which, on him, looked weird.

"Uh…Lavi? Are you okay?" Now the all science division members present were looking at him, trying to figure out why he was acting so…Kanda-like.

"I'm fine, piss off."

"Interesting. Is this because of-"Alice interrupted them there, not wanting to see what would happen if Kanda and Lavi heard about the incident again. Last time they'd been rather disoriented but now, now they would likely be destructive.

"Yes."

"…Oh."

"Yeah. Anyways. You're saying that Komui's in his room?"

"No, I think he's in his lab. The 'secret' one that most people know about because of all the suspicious noises you hear coming from it. It's really too bad we can't destroy the place without taking down the area around it."

"Is the area around it important? Because the destruction of that lab could prevent the destruction of a bunch of other places. Potentially." Hmm, if it wasn't…that was such a pleasing thought. But then Reever shook his head slowly and spoke again.

"Unfortunately it is. It's really too bad…Anyways, back to the matter at hand. He should be in his lab. Let's go have a talk with him. A very nice, not _too_ violent talk."

"So a little bit violent is okay?"

"He deserves it."

"He really does." And so it was settled. The exorcists and the few others that decided to stick around followed Reever down the hall and around a corner, where they came across a broken doorway. They peered inside to see Komui and…Lenalee? What was she doing there? The two of them had a dark and foreboding aura surrounding them which could mean nothing but trouble.

"Looks like Lena-lady joined the dark side." Everyone blinked and looked towards the voice.

"Kanda?!"

"That's my name, don't wear it out." Kanda had looked so _happy_ when he said that. It was honestly very frightening.

"Why? Wait, don't tell me. This is also because of that incident." Alice nodded grimly.

"We need to get that sorted out. Now. This is too confusing…"

"I understand exactly how you feel, but that's not our biggest problem right now. They are." She pointed towards Komui and Lenalee.

"Right, you're right. Okay. Komui!" Komui noticeably started upon hearing his name. That sounded like Reever? But how? No one knew where his lab was, right? He decided to ignore the noise even though it hadn't worked out well the last time.

"I don't think he's paying attention."

"KOMUI! GET OUT HERE AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" Or maybe he wasn't imagining things. That was definitely Reever. He looked up towards the group at the door and waved.

"Hi Reever. How are you doing?"

"HOW AM I DOING HOW DO YOU THINK I'M DOING? YOU. NEED. TO. STOP. MAKING. ROBOTS. DO YOU HEAR ME?"

"Wha-? But I'm not done yet? So if anything was destroyed, it wasn't me. Nope." Komui crossed his arms in front of him in an X shape and shook his head furiously.

"Huh? If it wasn't you…then who was it? You know, that robot that was in the kitchen? It was pretty tough too…"

"It really wasn't me…this time." Komui shrugged. Lenalee looked up curiously.

"Robot? Where is it now?"

"We managed to destroy it. Thank god."

"WHAT?! YOU DESTROYED IT? YOU DESTROYED MY LINLIN I? MONSTERS, ALL OF YOU. WHY ARE YOU SO CRUEL?" Everyone in the vicinity sweatdropped.

"Wait…_your_ Linlin? Lenalee…"

"MY Linlin. My precious Linlin. YOU DESTROYED IT."

"Calm down Lenalee, we had just cause. It was destroying the Order."

"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DESTROY IT."

"We really did. We didn't want to, but there was no other choice and we didn't know where you were. Sorry?" Lenalee pouted and looked put out, though a bit less murderous than before.

"I guess since you didn't know any better I'll let you off this time…but only this time! Don't destroy any of my babies again!" At that statement, Komui's eyes went wide.

"LENALEE, my darling sister! You had babies? With who? Who is the perverted octopus that tainted you?" When he was speaking, he'd gotten a hold of a chainsaw and was brandishing at random guys.

"Aww, nii-san you're so concerned about me. That's so cute! But there's no need for that, I meant Linlin I. I didn't have an actual human baby." Lenalee basically glomped Komui.

"Eh? Well, I guess that's fine." Komui dropped his weapon and hugged his sister. The others looked immensely relieved.

"Great! So everyone's happy?" Komui was one thing, but nobody wanted to get on Lenalee's bad side. She could be a real demon. So let's just say that when she said it'd been her robot…well, it wasn't a pretty picture. They could only hope that she wouldn't make anymore, no matter how unlikely that now seemed.

"I suppose so."

"That's all sorted out then. Komui, how's that cure coming along?"

"Cure? What cure?" Komui looked around nervously, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes.

"Never mind then, it obviously hasn't been done. Work on it, will you?"

"Yes of course. I'll get right on it."

"Thank you." That was the best they'd be getting out of him.

"Guys…sorry for butting in…and this is kind of unrelated but Lenalee's there and Kanda and Lavi have been with us for a while…where's Allen?" All of them looked around, trying to catch a glimpse of the white-haired boy.

"I don't see him."

"You don't think-?"

"Kanda, Lavi; Lavi, Kanda; Lenalee, Komui; Allen, Cross." Alice spoke, getting paler as she realized the potential implications of her words. Cross. The same Cross who had disappeared for years without any communication, any sign that he was even alive.

"Cross. That can't be good." Apparently, Reever was the only one that understood.

"No. And you know how easily Allen gets lost. What if…?" She trailed off. That meant Allen could be anywhere by now. He might not even know where. Or he could be in trouble and they'd have no idea.

"Please tell me he left Timcanpy behind."

"Let's go check."

* * *

Raen: Ha…haha…haha. That was a pretty cracky chapter . Oh, and I think I'll stick to this POV for a while…I think. And I'm not really sure about this chappie, I'm still half-dead (kinda like a vampire but without the bloodsucking and any potential sparkles? Wait no, that's undead). Anyways, drop me a review, yeah? Ciao~


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Tea Party?

Raen: Okay, so I lied. I'm going back to Allen's side…couldn't resist the temptation.

Allen (OOC): Of course not! I'm just that awesome.

Raen: ^^" Keep telling yourself that, Allen.

Disclaimer: Do not own D. Gray-man. Never have and never will – ain't that a depressing thought.

Also, some OOC-ness. Yeah, you'll see.

* * *

They were in the middle of their 'tea party' (Road could be extremely convincing when she wanted to be) when a black blur shot into the room and tackled Road.

"Road darling, what are you doing with this…exorcist? He's not good for you." Oh, it was Sheril, that daughter-complex. Wait, how did he know that? He didn't remember meeting the guy before. Oh well, it couldn't be an important matter.

"Playing! We're having a tea party, see?" Road smiled up at her father figure innocently.

"Aww, look at you, my adorable angel. And…ugh. But fine, if you're really having fun I guess…it…can stay. As long as I'm here to make sure he doesn't try anything."

"Tch, another annoyance." Why were the Noah so bothersome? They- His thought was cut off by Road shh-ing him. Which was, unfortunately for him, achieved by stabbing yet another candle into him. What was he? A porcupine?

"You want to join us? Really? Great! Oh and I just thought of a new rule – everyone has to wear a fancy dress! Got it?"

"Road sweetie I don't think-"

"Oh hell no. You are _not_ forcing me into a ball gown like a fucking princess."

"Ball gown? Good idea! I've got the perfect thing!" Allen was seriously starting to believe Road had (extremely) selective hearing. Either that or she was very good at ignoring them. "Found it! Look Allen, isn't it pretty? You'll look so nice!" She held off a pink? White? It was a bit hard to tell in the light…dress with red and metallic trimmings (which should've clashed horribly but didn't). Allen hated to admit it but it really was beautiful. That fact, however, did nothing in the way of making him want to wear it. He was a guy, damn it not some lady.

"No. Abso-fucking-lutely not." He shook his head, resolute. Sheril glared at him.

"I'm not saying I'd particularly like to be put into a dress but there's no need to swear in front of Road. Do. You. Understand. Me?"

"Whatever you say, _sir_." Insert mocking tone. Result? Pissed off Noah. Interesting.

"Please be reasonable, exorcist. I may be a diplomat (A/N: He is…right? ~) but even so I've certain limits. You are, how to say it…crossing them. Don't make me resort to violence." A dark purple aura gathered around the other, giving Allen chills (though he'd never admit it.)

"I don't give a shit." So the guy was two-faced, huh? Can't say he hadn't expected that. Sheril _was_ Tyki's brother after all. Wait what? Brother? How'd he know that?

"Enough, both of you. Dresses. Now." The argument wasn't entertaining, at least in Road's eyes, and she'd had enough of it. Allen was supposed to be playing with her, not her 'dad'.

"How many times do I have to say it? N-O. Know what that spells?"

"Yes!" Deciding that asking nicely was getter her nowhere, Road poofed the dress onto Allen herself, getting rid of the candles. They were in the way. "Perfect! Okay daddy, it's your turn now." She turned towards the other Noah.

"You can't spell, dumbass. Give me my clothes back!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"But the dress looks so good on you!"

"Do you really think I give a damn how it looks? I am a _male_. _Males_ don't wear _dresses_."

"But look!" Road pulled out a mirror from…thin air?

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Where did the mirror come from?"

"What do you mean? My room is an extension of my dream world. I can do anything here!"

"…Crap."

"What did I say about swearing?"

"Crap is hardly a swear word." Allen turned to glare at Sheril but instead covered his eyes immediately upon finding the other in a frilly blue dress. "Get your ugly ass out of my sight."

"Stop! Be nice, both of you!"

"Tch."

"I'm sorry for upsetting you, Road."

"Okay dad-no, Sherry-chan! You're forgiven. Now it's your turn. Apologize, Aleyne-chan!"

"That's not my name."

"Aleyne-chan, _apologize now_."

"Make me."

"You are in my realm, do not test me. Even if you are my Allen, I'll get mad."

"…"

"I said now."

"Fine, fine. Sheesh, way to make a big deal out of it." Allen sneered. "I'm _sorry_. Oh wait, that's not true."

"Well…okay! Close enough! Let's continue our tea party now!"

"Wait!" The door slammed open, revealing Jasdero and Devitt. "It's our turn with the exorcist now!"

"You want to join our party too!"

"Uh…no. Give Cross's (A/N: That looks really weird. Cross's… . ) disciple to us!"

"Hee. Cross's disciple."

"That's right Jas, we need him to pay his damn master's debts!"

"He left you his debts again? That kind of sad."

"It's not! That guy's just a demon. But that's not the point. We-"

"Stop repeating yourself Devitt – that's so _boring_. And more importantly, I'm not done playing with Allen yet!" Road's eyes flashed dangerously as she spoke. "If you want to talk to him you can do so here."

"But we want him to _work_ for us not _talk_!"

"Work! Work! Jihihihi~"

"I don't get a say in this?" Allen spoke up, wishing Road would just drop the matter. He didn't particularly want to work (though he'd probably find a way out of it so it wouldn't be too bad) but his want, nay, need, to get out of the dress was far greater.

"Nope~ Be a good girl now, Aleyne-chan." Road was practically sparkling…creepy. Jasdevi gave Allen pitying looks.

"My name is Allen. A-L-L-E-N. Got it?"

"But Allen is a boy's name?"

"I'm male!"

"You're wearing a dress!"

"Because you forced me into it! And wearing a dr-…different clothes doesn't change my gender!"

"Hihihi~ 'Different'."

"Shut it."

Throughout this entire exchange, Sheril had kept quiet. He wasn't sure which side he should be taking. On one hand, he should be agreeing with Road – he needed to show support for her after all. On the other…if Jasdevi 'won' then Road would be free of the presence of the vulgar kid. And he most certainly wasn't good for her. True, he'd heard the other was normally well-behaved but he wasn't now and that was what mattered. Then again, Road liked the boy, so maybe he wasn't _that_ bad? Taking him away from her might make her sad. He didn't want to make his precious daughter sad. Besides, keeping quiet had its benefits too. Sheril really, _really_, didn't want to be noticed by Jasdevi. They would make fun of how he was making a dress and then spread weird rumors about it. Hopefully he'd stay unnoticed.

"Hey Road that bastard disciple's got an interesting idea. Let's make him choose."

"…But I don't wanna! Alle-Aleyne stays with me!"

"No way! We're not letting you take him that easily."

"Nope, nope~ You can't have him."

"It's our turn!"

"Stupid. This is stupid. Fine, I've had enough. Aleyne-chan can choose." Road glared at Allen as if daring him to choose Jasdevi.

"Finally. Okay, I choose the two bastards over there. Now get me out of this retarded dress."

"No…way…My Allen wouldn't do that! You said it wrong right? You choose me?"

"Sorry girl, I can't do that."

"Allen betrayed me…What should I do?" And those were the last words he heard before he was dragged away (luckily back in his own clothes).

* * *

Raen: Alright! What do you think?...Okay well I hoped you liked it. That's all for now, ciao~!


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